Knock Knock. “Who’s There?” “Donald Trump.”

<a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/507158574670573568">@realDonaldTrump</a>/Twitter

Facts matter: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter. Support our nonprofit reporting. Subscribe to our print magazine.


(Knock knock)

“Who’s there?”

“Donald.”

“Donald who?”

“Donald Trump.”

(Deadbolts door)

“Honey! Quick, hide the kids! An anti-vaccine lunatic is here!”

“Oh Jesus!”

“Hurry! Take them into the basement.”

“Aren’t you coming?”

“I have to make sure you’re safe.”

“No, please! Come with us!”

“Mommy!”

“This is my responsibility. I am your wife. I am their mother…Please, I love you. What type of mother would I be if I let some anti-vax nut near our kids?”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you so much. Go, please.”

(Husband and kids begin down stairs to basement, wife prepares to close basement door, husband looks up at her one last time)

“I’ll pray for you.”

“Pray for all of us.”

(Wife closes door, returns to entry hall, Donald is still knocking)

“Hello? You there? This is no way to treat Donald Trump! This is a lot like the time Dennis Rodman was on my hit show. He came into the boardroom and I said—.”

“Please, just go away.”

(Beat)

“I have no where else to go.”

(Beat)

(Wife opens door)

“Come in. We’ll watch one episode. Just until the doctors arrive to take you back to the hospital.”

“Want to see pictures of my resorts?”

“Sure, grandpa. Sure.”

The end.

THE TRUTH...

is the first thing despots go after. An unwavering commitment to it is probably what draws you to Mother Jones' journalism. And as we're seeing in the US and the world around, authoritarians seek to poison the discourse and the way we relate to each other because they can't stand people coming together around a shared sense of the truth—it's a huge threat to them.

Which is also a pretty great way to describe Mother Jones' mission: People coming together around the truth to hold power accountable.

And right now, we need to raise about $400,000 from our online readers over the next two months to hit our annual goal and make good on that mission. Read more about the information war we find ourselves in and how people-powered, independent reporting can and must rise to the challenge—and please support our team's truth-telling journalism with a donation if you can right now.

payment methods

THE TRUTH...

is the first thing despots go after. An unwavering commitment to it is probably what draws you to Mother Jones' journalism. And as we're seeing in the US and the world around, authoritarians seek to poison the discourse and the way we relate to each other because they can't stand people coming together around a shared sense of the truth—it's a huge threat to them.

Which is also a pretty great way to describe Mother Jones' mission: People coming together around the truth to hold power accountable.

And right now, we need to raise about $400,000 from our online readers over the next two months to hit our annual goal and make good on that mission. Read more about the information war we find ourselves in and how people-powered, independent reporting can and must rise to the challenge—and please support our team's truth-telling journalism with a donation if you can right now.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate