Knock Knock. “Who’s There?” “Donald Trump.”

<a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/507158574670573568">@realDonaldTrump</a>/Twitter

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(Knock knock)

“Who’s there?”

“Donald.”

“Donald who?”

“Donald Trump.”

(Deadbolts door)

“Honey! Quick, hide the kids! An anti-vaccine lunatic is here!”

“Oh Jesus!”

“Hurry! Take them into the basement.”

“Aren’t you coming?”

“I have to make sure you’re safe.”

“No, please! Come with us!”

“Mommy!”

“This is my responsibility. I am your wife. I am their mother…Please, I love you. What type of mother would I be if I let some anti-vax nut near our kids?”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you so much. Go, please.”

(Husband and kids begin down stairs to basement, wife prepares to close basement door, husband looks up at her one last time)

“I’ll pray for you.”

“Pray for all of us.”

(Wife closes door, returns to entry hall, Donald is still knocking)

“Hello? You there? This is no way to treat Donald Trump! This is a lot like the time Dennis Rodman was on my hit show. He came into the boardroom and I said—.”

“Please, just go away.”

(Beat)

“I have no where else to go.”

(Beat)

(Wife opens door)

“Come in. We’ll watch one episode. Just until the doctors arrive to take you back to the hospital.”

“Want to see pictures of my resorts?”

“Sure, grandpa. Sure.”

The end.

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WE'LL BE BLUNT.

We have a considerable $390,000 gap in our online fundraising budget that we have to close by June 30. There is no wiggle room, we've already cut everything we can, and we urgently need more readers to pitch in—especially from this specific blurb you're reading right now.

We'll also be quite transparent and level-headed with you about this.

In "News Never Pays," our fearless CEO, Monika Bauerlein, connects the dots on several concerning media trends that, taken together, expose the fallacy behind the tragic state of journalism right now: That the marketplace will take care of providing the free and independent press citizens in a democracy need, and the Next New Thing to invest millions in will fix the problem. Bottom line: Journalism that serves the people needs the support of the people. That's the Next New Thing.

And it's what MoJo and our community of readers have been doing for 47 years now.

But staying afloat is harder than ever.

In "This Is Not a Crisis. It's The New Normal," we explain, as matter-of-factly as we can, what exactly our finances look like, why this moment is particularly urgent, and how we can best communicate that without screaming OMG PLEASE HELP over and over. We also touch on our history and how our nonprofit model makes Mother Jones different than most of the news out there: Letting us go deep, focus on underreported beats, and bring unique perspectives to the day's news.

You're here for reporting like that, not fundraising, but one cannot exist without the other, and it's vitally important that we hit our intimidating $390,000 number in online donations by June 30.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. It's going to be a nail-biter, and we really need to see donations from this specific ask coming in strong if we're going to get there.

payment methods

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