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Happy Easter! I’m not a particularly religious adult, and I have no kids, so I signed up for weekend blogging duty this Sunday. That was a mistake. So far, it’s been an extraordinarily quiet news day. So, while my editor and I wait for something newsworthy to happen, and many of you paint eggs, hunt for eggs, or otherwise engage with this delicious protein source, please allow me to tell you about Egg Math.
Egg Math is an internet concept that went viral late last year, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. As TikToker @vancouver.dieticians explains in a now-viral video, “Egg Math” means that the number of eggs someone can eat before they get grossed out depends on the form of the egg. So you might be able to easily eat a three-egg omelet, but not three whole hard-boiled eggs or three fried eggs. Baked goods, according to Egg Math, count as zero eggs. “You can have as many as you want.” Similarly, in part two of the series, they explain that deviled eggs also have no limit. It’s genius. The idea seems to have struck a chord; across the two videos, @vancouver.dieticians garnered more than a million likes.
@vancouver.dietitians I hope this finds the right egg audience 😅🙋🏽♀️ #eggmath #girlmath #eggs
But Egg Math is not entirely random. For those of you not on TikTok, Egg Math is something of a spin-off of a pervasive and, in my opinion, infuriating cousin: “Girl Math.”
Girl Math, according to TikTok, primarily applies to shopping, clothing, personal hygiene, makeup, Starbucks, and other stereotypically “female” activities. As one TikTok user explained in a video that’s amassed more than 2.5 million likes, with Girl Math, if something is bought with cash, it’s free. “It’s never in my bank account, so I never got to see that money go down,” she explains. A similar logic (or lack thereof) applies to items returned to the store—that’s free money. Vacations paid for far enough in advance are “free.” Items that cost $24 are actually just $20, according to Girl Math, store credit is “free shopping,” and if your Starbucks app is loaded with money on Monday, then a latte paid for in-app on Tuesday is “free.”
Even as someone who loves to shop, applies makeup daily, and has been known to indulge in many a pumpkin spice latte, there are several reasons Girl Math infuriates me. First and foremost, it reinforces the stereotype that women are less financially capable than men. (A belief, that, for much of this nation’s history, prevented women from being able to own property or take out credit cards on our own.) Not many of TikTok’s Girl Mathletes are making financially savvy decisions. Second, it’s infantilizing (Why are we still calling grown women “girls”?) and it suggests that women’s activities are restricted to…buying stuff. I’m a woman who likes science, lifting weights, and reading. Are those not Girl Activities too?
Egg Math wasn’t a lone offshoot. After Girl Math came all sorts of “maths,” including Boy Math (which applies to drinking, sports, cars, etc.), Cat Math, Dog Math, Nurse Math, Teacher Math—the list goes on. Some of these are admittedly funny, if reductive (As one user posted, “Boy math is them wanting a prenup & they make 45k.”), and some don’t have much to do with math at all. (According to Dog Math, “If the doorbell rings, that means the house is on fire.”) Which leads me to conclude that Egg Math is the only TikTok math that is actually math-ing.
Anyway, that’s my Easter Sunday rant. Enjoy those eggs. And for the love of Sephora, please no more Girl Math.
