Your Morning Joe

Michael O’Hare marvels at a fabulous new espresso machine that works only with coffee pods from the manufacturer at a price of (he figures) about $66 per pound:

What I can’t understand is how these geniuses were so dumb as to market a machine that uses tap water. How hard could it be to design a sealed aluminum non-refillable $15 water pod, filled with one of several different gourmet waters matched to the coffee blends (the coffee pods come in about twenty different color-coded blends), like, say, Milano da rubinetto, Pioggia pura romana da mattina, Nestlé’s own Poland Spring (in 3 elastic modulus grades) already in pods, Amazona prima colheita do verão, Flaque Boulevard St. Germain, Fiji-Dasani custom coffee blend (also approved for Mercedes engine cooling systems), Gelbschnee fondé puro (Nestlé’s local house brand), and so on. People who will pay five to ten times extra for stale coffee grounds will certainly pay through the nose for water with a name on it.

Apparently these things are endorsed by George Clooney (in Britain anyway; I’m not sure about the States) and, according to the Guardian, are selling like hotcakes. Mike suggests that you buy one of these things for someone you don’t like. Sure, it’s expensive, but your victim will be stuck with a lifetime of pain shelling out a dollar per pod for their morning joe. Merry Christmas!

POSTSCRIPT: Question for the coffee drinkers: is this any different from those K-Cup coffeemakers? I don’t drink coffee, so I don’t keep up with this stuff. Seems like pretty much the same concept, though.

Fact:

Mother Jones was founded as a nonprofit in 1976 because we knew corporations and the wealthy wouldn’t fund the type of hard-hitting journalism we set out to do.

Today, reader support makes up about two-thirds of our budget, allows us to dig deep on stories that matter, and lets us keep our reporting free for everyone. If you value what you get from Mother Jones, please join us with a tax-deductible donation so we can keep on doing the type of journalism that 2018 demands.

Donate Now