- Hand over all your nukes.
- Hand over all your missiles.
- Hand over all your fissile materials.
- Destroy all your centrifuges, test reactors, testing pads, etc.
- Allow UN and American inspectors free rein to inspect every square inch of your country.
- We will then agree to begin negotiations about what North Korea gets in return.
Apparently North Korea has rejected this generous offer. I cannot imagine why. It’s probably because of Chinese interference, which means we must now place a 100 percent tariff on all iPhones. If that doesn’t work, we shall place tariffs on cordless drills, Christmas lights, and vacuum cleaners.