The Uterus Monologues: Limericks From Our Readers

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A week ago, the Florida GOP scolded Rep. Scott Randolph (D-Orlando) when he used the word “uterus” on the statehouse floor. We at Mother Jones couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the word, and why it wasn’t deemed worthy for public. So Jen Phillips penned a limerick in response, calling on readers to post their own reactions to the Florida GOP’s buffoonery. Here are some of our favorites:

 

 

From Active Peacemaker:

A Florida Rep. shouted with rage,
“We can’t use those words near a page.
I’m convinced by my work
We were brought by the Stork!”
Now please put that Rep. back in his cage. 

 deanz:

There once was a party so grand
It thought it would give God a hand
By helping her tutor us
on words hardly new to us
but soon She’ll be having *them* banned

 To Womb it May Concern:

The word uterus is naughty, you see
Not for use in polite company
They’ve deprived half the nation
Of sex education
Now it burns whene’er they GO P.

While demagogues Stately and Clerical,
encourage their gals to get spherical
they won’t lessen its stature
with crass nomenclature
to use Uterus makes them hysterical.

Amy Sharp

So they think that uterus is offensive…
it is time to get down down off the fences
to hold hands and skip
to the beat of something hip
and get the country back to its sense

Valerie Hope Starr

I’d quiver to think what they’d to us
dare we mention that naughty word uterus
we can pillage, rape, maim but not mention that name
of the place whence we came fore you knew of us

Jim Bazen

Some words are a source of dissension.
They require a thorough preemption.
Now the Reps are all riled
’bout the fetus who filed
A uterine homestead exemption.

Brenda Cummings

The Republicans don’t like my uterus.
Revelations like these aren’t new to us.
They don’t care for humanity,
They’ve lost their sanity—
We ALL came from one—unum e pluribus?

Thepink Pantsuit

To reject a word such as uterus
I find nothing short of ludicrous
Does not the blessing of birth
Define a woman’s self-worth
What more can the GOP to do us?

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WE'LL BE BLUNT.

We have a considerable $390,000 gap in our online fundraising budget that we have to close by June 30. There is no wiggle room, we've already cut everything we can, and we urgently need more readers to pitch in—especially from this specific blurb you're reading right now.

We'll also be quite transparent and level-headed with you about this.

In "News Never Pays," our fearless CEO, Monika Bauerlein, connects the dots on several concerning media trends that, taken together, expose the fallacy behind the tragic state of journalism right now: That the marketplace will take care of providing the free and independent press citizens in a democracy need, and the Next New Thing to invest millions in will fix the problem. Bottom line: Journalism that serves the people needs the support of the people. That's the Next New Thing.

And it's what MoJo and our community of readers have been doing for 47 years now.

But staying afloat is harder than ever.

In "This Is Not a Crisis. It's The New Normal," we explain, as matter-of-factly as we can, what exactly our finances look like, why this moment is particularly urgent, and how we can best communicate that without screaming OMG PLEASE HELP over and over. We also touch on our history and how our nonprofit model makes Mother Jones different than most of the news out there: Letting us go deep, focus on underreported beats, and bring unique perspectives to the day's news.

You're here for reporting like that, not fundraising, but one cannot exist without the other, and it's vitally important that we hit our intimidating $390,000 number in online donations by June 30.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. It's going to be a nail-biter, and we really need to see donations from this specific ask coming in strong if we're going to get there.

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